One Flesh

Some Pharisees approached Jesus, and tested him, saying, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause whatever?" He said in reply, "Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator made them male and female and said, For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, man must not separate." 

They said to him, "Then why did Moses command that the man give the woman a bill of divorce and dismiss her?" He said to them, "Because of the hardness of your hearts Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) and marries another commits adultery." His disciples said to him, "If that is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry." 

He answered, "Not all can accept this word, but only those to whom that is granted. Some are incapable of marriage because they were born so; some, because they were made so by others; some, because they have renounced marriage for the sake of the Kingdom of heaven. Whoever can accept this ought to accept it." (Matthew 19:3-12)  

Here's the clue: “Some Pharisees approached Jesus, and tested him, saying, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause whatever?”  Men could divorce their wives for any cause thereby putting their wives in a perilous position.  “Any cause” could mean anything.  No longer attractive in the man’s eyes? Didn’t work hard enough to suit his needs? It was a patriarchal society, and the men ruled often with hardness of hearts.

Jesus defended women by emphasizing “what God has joined together, man must not separate,” and the frosting on the cake, so to speak was his conclusion: “I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) and marries another commits adultery.” That was a huge “speedbump” for men wishing to shed their wives and remarry another.

Today, and over the centuries, we have taken his clever approach to defend wives from abuse and we have applied it to marriage in general.  Specifically, men and women who seek and are granted a divorce cannot remarry in the Catholic Church unless they get an annulment.  The Church has “kicked it up a notch” by establishing the annulment process as a different and sensible interpretation of Matthew 19:3-12.

Jesus’ logic provided by Mattthew is impeccable: “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, man must not separate.”  Sorry "man," you cannot have your own way and toss your wife when it pleases you.

Of note, too many brides and grooms still don’t understand their momentous step to marry in a church and swear oaths before God.  Perhaps one reason is that in today’s society oath taking is not taken seriously.  

Politicians are notorious for oath breaking.  Clearly, they are the wrong models for brides and grooms.  Sacred oath-breaking priests and deacons are far worse.

Deacon David Pierce