A Plea for Compassionate Reconciliation

Sunday marked the opening of the second phase of the Synod on the Family which ends on October 26. Bishops and Cardinals from around the world will be meeting to determine several aspects of the family, including homosexuality, Communion for divorced and remarried Catholics, and other hot button issues including contraception, abortion, and euthanasia. An incident at the Falmouth Hospital where I am chaplain illustrates how this affects so many people who want to be part of the Church but can’t.

Already on the first day of the synod there seemed to be battle-lines developing which may pit on side against the other. That is sad. Pope Francis opened the meeting with some encouraging, positive, inclusive words. He said “the Synod is not a parliament where in order to reach a consensus we start to negotiate, making deals and compromises. The lone method in the synod is to listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit with apostolic courage, with evangelical humility and confident, trusting prayer.”

Hungarian Cardinal Peter Erdo, who is the “General Relator” and supposed to guide the summit’s work, seemed determined, however, to close a series of doors on several issues that many people believed the last synod had left open. Concerning the Communion ban, Erdo insisted that it is not an “arbitrary prohibition,” but “intrinsic” to the nature of marriage as a permanent union. “Mercy”, he said, “doesn’t offer the possibility of forgiveness, it also demands conversion.” He was trying to close the door concerning any reconciliation to Catholics who had been divorced and remarried outside the Church, which brings me to my story at the hospital.

One afternoon, the interfaith chaplain was paged to a women in the OR recovery room after she had had a miscarriage. She was very distraught and said she wanted to see a priest. Since I was the Catholic chaplain on-call, I was called. I usually talk to the patient or the family before calling a priest in to see if I can resolve any issues or requests. When I arrived, it was obvious that the woman had been crying which is understandable. What she said left me speechless and sad.

She had just lost her child after twelve weeks of pregnancy and it affected her greatly. What she said is that she felt as if she was being punished by God because she had been divorced and remarried and that she was living in sin but couldn’t do anything about it. She kept repeating that over and over as she sobbed. She desperately wanted to be part of the Church but couldn’t because she had been kicked out because of her situation. I mentioned the possibility of an annulment and she had gone through the process but was denied the annulment because she didn’t have enough witnesses to support her. She said that there was no one she could turn to for spiritual support or advice because the Church wouldn’t accept her.

What was I to say? I felt overwhelmed with sadness for her and offered some platitudes that God still loves her and that no, He wasn’t punishing her. But my comments seemed so empty and futile. Here was a woman who had just lost her baby, and the Church was turning her back on her at a time when she most needed her; a Church that she desperately wanted to be a part of.

Please keep her in your prayers and also pray that the synod may offer compassionate reconciliation to those who want it.

Deacon Greg Beckel